Earned his Scout rank last night. First time at a Boy Scout meeting, he plunged in and went straight to work.
Mind, he feels a bit pressured by his father to continue in scouting. I find it funny that he was near tears insisting he no longer wanted to be a part of scouting, but came home with a rank patch (oh, boy! more bloody sewing on!!) and extremely enthusiastic, saying, "In thirty days time I will have my Tenderfoot rank." He already has it mapped out in his mind how he'll earn First Class before such-and-such date.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!
The eldest hasn't wanted to be a part of scouting for a long while now. He could be Life Scout at this point - only needs to sit down and do his board of review. Think he will? Nope. He's stubborn as a goat. He's that and five merit badges and an Eagle Scout project away from Eagle Scout rank. He doesn't care. He wants to throw in the towel. He says even if he grows up to regret this decision he won't regret it. My husband said he can't quit.
I'm in the middle. I hate it here. It's like wearing a hair shirt, perhaps. I'd rather wear something itchy than be in the middle of this. I am mom - I can't stand the complaining and disrespect that goes with all the "Dad won't . . . " comments flung from this wily teens mouth. I can only turn on the monotone recording: "You must respect your father's wishes. You must do your best. Scouting is a great program and can only improve your life, other's lives by the skills you have learned, and so on. Do your best." To be honest, he could already have earned his Eagle - eons ago.
I would have let them quit ages ago. They have been complaining for a year or more now. The youngest always seems be happy after the meetings - it wasn't so bad. The youngest is still compliant enough. The eldest is starting to rub off on the youngest - thus making the parents a wee bit angry and disappointed, shall we say.
Dad said (I heard him) a while back: Get your Arrow of Light and bridge over (to the youngest); get your Life rank (to the oldest) and when we move to HI I won't actively seek a troop for either of you if you aren't interested but while here in MD, you must continue doing your best. Well, the youngest took him at his word, which he thought meant he did not have to participate as a Boy Scout. I took it as that, too, so the youngest and I were looking at each other like we were both deaf and dumb. I wish my husband spoke plain English. His English is not quite my English. He's just not plain enough - and when he's forced to be plain, it's often too late to make anyone happy.
Letting them quit . . . a mistake? A blessing? As the middle man (ahem, mother, woman, whatever!) I say: Give me the hair shirt! And to the boys I say: Go ask your father; leave me out of this! I just sew on the patches.
10 comments:
"Discuss this with your Dad" is the privilege and deferment of all mothers of sons...
:)
I use it often.
Except when I say talk to Dad, Andy usually comes back with, "Did you talk to your mother?"
Sarah,
My eldest son is conflicted with Scouts as well. He's a Tenderfoot now, but often says he just isn't sure if he wants to stay in the program. I'm trying to leave it all up to Dad as well since I'm not the one actively involved in Scouts.
Congratulations!
Neither of mine have continued in scouts, sadly.
it is hard to make them stick with stuff. i am such a "not-sticking-to-anything-for-very-long" type person that i really insist that the kiddos stick with something at least for a time anyway. i have trouble with the oldest leading the middle one out of stuff he'd probably be interested in if it were not for brother's disinterest. i am probably not making sense, but i do know that boys are difficult to read sometimes. i'll pray for ya though. and yay to you for sewing those patches on. i never liked doing that, they're not fun!
=)
Sarah! You know where I'm at in other things and this IS ANOTHER one of those THINGS. Right now, Shane is taking a "break" from Scouts. It seems like that is okay with some of the leaders. We are hoping he will pick back up and go ahead and fulfill the rest of his work to make Eagle, but I don't know. I hear they can get some scholarship money for being Eagle and that was one big incentive, other than for the most part, Scouts is just a good thing to be involved in. I guess if our boys don't make it all the way through and I hope they all will somehow, I think we as mommas can at least pat them on the back and tell them we are happy they went through of it as much as they did and to take away from it all good things and remember..remember they will always be a Scout at heart and can apply much of what they learned with many things in their future and to always be willing to
volunteer to help little boys go through Scouting, because at one time or the other..it WAS FUN and they know it! :) Hope this helps..once again, we pray for these guys..for sure! Hugs! Suz
Interestingly, as we were finishing up dinner, the youngest (who would literally shed a tear or two before his cub scout meetings) volunteered to go with his dad tonight to his old Pack to help out - let's just say, I'm proud, but baffled!
Suz - one thing my eldest said to me today might help you, don't know but here we go: He said, "Mum, you and dady come down on me so hard and never say you're proud of me or good job. I just want to hear that, too."
Shitskee, I need a Kleenex.
let em quit. if they're interested later they can get back in.
the lesson is follow through with your choices and their consequences.
you wanna play ball at the beginnig of the season you're gonna stay in all season....but it's a SEASON committment, not a LIFETIME committment. If the kid's already been in long enough to know what's what then he should be able to knowingly make the decision to leave. If he regrets is....well, we often learn great lessons from our regrets.
What a cutie!
We've got a 17-year-old who is stalling on his Eagle project, so I have been down your road and in some ways am still on it.
My husband insisted. Period. And right now Big Brother is being dragged to meetings he really doesn't care to attend. We keep telling him, finish the project and you're done.
MightyMom talked about a season commitment. Scouting is year by year in terms of dues. When are they due? (Ours are due at the beginning of the school year) The boys should hang in there until that transition. Then they get to consider it, in discussion with you and Dad.
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