I don't even have to ask if you'd ask me that fateful question again now knowing what you know. I know you would say something along the lines of, "If I did go back with what I know now, I would not change a thing. Everything - the good and the very few bad things - brought us to now; and I love you now more than I did then - and I loved you a lot then." I know you would say this, because when I questioned you early on in our marriage, you said to me, "Sarah, everything in your past has made you the person you are today and I love you, as you are, today."Every time you look at me (especially when I look up when you least expect it and I "catch you" looking at me) I see those words in your smile, the smile that warms your inner eye.
This is the man I do not want to disappoint.
I know I disappoint you some of the time. It's inevitable since I'm human. But, I want to thank you for loving me anyhow.
Seventeen years strong. You hardly knew me when we married four months after meeting. I didn't know it would last so long. I hoped! I cannot fathom how you "just knew" I was the one for you. I felt like I was just going through the motions to be forever with the one I thought I loved. The only thing I was certain of at the time was that I loved you and wanted to be married for life. I hoped that my love for you would be enough.
Love isn't enough unless you sacrifice. And, forgive. We both have given and forgiven. Neither were big things . . . because we do things for each other out of love.
A few years ago, when I finally started living like a Catholic and allowed you to be the man of the house . . . well, didn't our lives start to become more blessed! When we invited Christ in the lead, wow! did our lives change for the better.
You are a terrific father to our three children. You are a good dad. I want you to know that. They love you so much. More importantly, they respect you and all the hard work you do even when it cuts into time we could all be spending together.
I cannot thank you enough, Chief, for rescuing me from myself time and time again. Thank you for reminding me that I am worth the love you have for me, and, always showing me Christ every step and stop along the way.
I love you, Chief.
P.S. thanks for getting up at 1:30am Friday morning to smash and flush that hideous cockroach in the bathroom. I did well squelching my screams when I spied it whilst sitting on the throne. UGH!
