It's Really Happening

My husband called me from work this morning and asked about certain things that pertain to our upcoming transfer to Hawaii. Things that point to "dates" and "scheduling", which means he's working on our pack-out dates and flight information. It's really happening!

Before he left for work this morning he told me he was going to try and not go on this trip to VA this week. If he does go he will leave tonight and return Thursday. He says there is too much going on (and, I believe him, because it is up to him to make our move arrangements and juggle his daily duties as a military dude . . . ) and it would help him if he did not have to travel right now. I thought it might be because of a domestic issue we are having with Squirrel Boy (failing Algebra) so I assured him that I would see to it that he let his teacher know he's not getting it. You would think that a teacher who already knows (by his test grades etc.) that he's failing and needs help, but no, in this school system (I have experienced over and over again), if a kid needs help - the parent has to move a mountain to get it. There are two days after school each week that SB can stay after for math clinics. He will do those and meet with his teacher. He has been instructed to come home today with "appointments" or plans to do this THIS week. If he does not, I will ring up the school upon his walking through the door and set up a meeting with his math teacher myself. And, this what drives me bonkers: for all "the system" trying to make these kids into mini adults, they totally short-sheet them in this area. If they want the kid to be pro-active about his/her education, why do they stunt it when he asks for help? I don't get it. Unless, SB is not asking correctly - making himself clear - or he's not asking (likely, as he's a bit shy and easily intimidated when he's uncertain of the outcome).

Not only that, but three weeks ago, I emailed the math department for a tutor - I got a response email saying that someone would contact me within two weeks to set it up for him. Nada. Nothing. Zip.

The same thing happened when I asked for assistance for SB when he was in third grade. All boys (kids) have poor spelling skills at this age. I suspected there was something else wrong - he just didn't "get" that FIRST wasn't spelled FRIST. There was more to it than that, so I asked about having him tested for mild dyslexia. No one did anything. In fourth grade, I asked again, and they noted he was crying in class etc., and after "observation" they concluded he suffered from anxiety. Well, maybe 'cos "they" squeezed out of me that his grandfather was sick and the illnesses he had were both inoperable and he was going to die. But, he wasn't performing well and it was a huge struggle for him to grasp some concepts. I was concerned, but they weren't so they pushed him through to fifth grade. He did okay there, but because he was performing as an average student, I knew he would not be okay in middle school. Hence, the homeschooling him. I'll never regret that decisions as stressful as it was for three years. He did learn and he's a stronger student now than he would have been had he gone to be with the wolves. Seriously. His spelling and comprehension is better and he was on-target with math.

So, what's different? Distractions. There are more of them in a regular school. What are they? Girls. Fashion. Friends. Cell phones. iPods. You-name-it. Ugh! I don't know why he's drowning in math. He seemed to be doing okay and this half the year he has a new teacher . . . . . .

My husband and I have gone back and forth about school, primarily for him (since he struggles more than his siblings; the siblings would have been in honours classes, easily - and likely will be when placed back in public/private school when we get to HI). Do we put him in the public system in HI? Or, do we put him in a Catholic school? Preferably and all-boys Catholic school? We are leaning toward the all-boy school. Why? It isn't just because girls are a distraction (and this is more so for some boys than others; although, at this stage SB is just attracted to girls and thinks he wants a girlfriend). I think it is wonderful he's seeking companionship - it is normal for him to desire this. However, it's important that he understand that companionship is not the way to seek happiness or contentedness. He won't find that "right now" in any person. Besides, he knows we will not let him "date" until at least sixteen years of age (and that, it will be 'courting'; dating is going to a film with one girl one week, another girl the next week until he narrows it down to a girl who is mutually interested in courting etc.). Anyway, our reasoning is more about team work and effort within the realm of boys. I think boys learn better together. There's more to it than what I am saying here, but as far as competition goes, a private boys school has fewer students and he can join an athletic club a little easier etc.. But, again, we'll see. There's more to it than just saying, "We'd like to enroll our son . . . "

Some time this morning I have to get to the commissary. I loathe pushing a bockety trolley around a store . . . paying someone to bag it and pack it in the van so I can unpack the van and unpack the bags at home . . . . the process is really rather depressing. I mean, it's great to have a variety of things to eat, but it's so blah! I'd rather do anything else but shop for food!

Hope the sun is shinning in your skies today.